Sense & Sensibility: 1st Discussion

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Welcome to the 1st Discussion!

Bare with me for this post since it’s my first time with these buddy reads! I’m confident, however, that I’ve built up a good list of questions that you can reflect on and answer in the comments down below. I will also be posting a post just full of my thoughts after I publish this one as well so maybe you can get a feel for my feelings as well! FEEL ALL OF THE FEELINGS!

Thank you so much for being here and for reading Sense & Sensibility!

Background Information:

Sense & Sensibility was written in 1795 when Jane was only 20 years old. It’s interesting to note that Jane first wrote this in epistolary form, or letters, exchanged between the sisters. The title was also originally, Elinor and Marianne. When Jane, her mother, sister, and a family friend moved in 1809, she started revising it and renamed it what we know it as today: Sense and Sensibility. Did I mention that it was to a country cottage that they moved to? Interesting…do you think it correlates a bit? 😉

Discussion Questions:

  1. Let’s first talk about the significance of the title. What do you think is the difference between “sense” and “sensibility”? Which word represents each sister? Which word represents YOU more? Do you think one of these matter more than another? What about if you’re choosing a match for yourself?
  2. What does Marianne value in a man/suitor? What does Elinor? Are they opposites?
  3. In Ch 10 Colonel Brandon is praised by Elinor and criticized by Willoughby. Why?
  4. Jane Austen is known to deliver “verbal brutalities” throughout this novel (and others). What do you think this means? Can you find an example?
  5. “Civility” and “taste” are a fixed code of values, rather than an individual experience. What is this fixed code; in other words, what are some of the deciding factors for such a fixed code?
  6. Who is your favorite character just from this volume? Why? Who is your least favorite and why?
  7. Also in Ch 10, Ms. Austen mentions that “She liked him…”, speaking of Elinor’s regard for Colonel Brandon. Did you feel that this was a romantic “like” or just a friendly “like”?
  8. Did you catch the Romeo and Juliet reference? Do you think it has symbolic meaning?
  9. The courting game is certainly very different than nowadays. What things have you learned from S&S about romance and courtship?
  10. It’s pretty ironic that Willoughby is so defiant at Mrs. Dashwood when she mentions that a few changes to the cottage would make it more pleasant. Why is it ironic?
  11. Compare/contrast Elinor and Marianne’s reactions to being parted from their men.
  12. We are introduced to the Miss. Steeles in the last chapters of the Volume I. Describe your thoughts on them. What were Elinor and Marianne’s thoughts/opinions of them?
  13. Are there differences between the Steeles and the Dashwoods? What are some of the most glaring differences?
  14. “Your sister, I understand, does not approve of second attachments.” “No,” replied Elinor, “her opinions are all romantic.” What does it mean when the wisest and steadiest characters of the novel disagree about romantic sensibility? Elinor hopes her sister will grow out of it; Colonel Brandon thinks Marianne’s romanticism is natural and “amiable.” He believes a total change would be harmful. Who is right? What are the implications for our own romantic tendencies? (Guest question)
  15. What do you think would have happened if Colonel Brandon had been the one to “save” Marianne when she got hurt and not Willoughby? (Guest question: Nicole!)

You may answer as many questions as you like or just run with your thoughts! Either way, I’m looking forward to reading what you thought of Volume 1!

Good luck!

Comment away!

115 thoughts on “Sense & Sensibility: 1st Discussion”

  1. Tisha says:
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    Reading through your questions I got to number 7 and that is my favorite question so I’m going to answer that now if you don’t mind and then Circle back to some of the rest….(Also in Ch 10, Ms. Austen mentions that “She liked him…”, speaking of Elinor’s regard for Colonel Brandon. Did you feel that this was a romantic “like” or just a friendly “like”?)… I kinda sorta think Miss Austen means friendly. I however think Elinor is a fool… the colonel, in my humble opinion, is the bigger catch of the two eligible bachelors. And I always felt this even before I saw the 1995 movie ( I prefer Alan Rickman to Hugh Grant). I’m going to be brutally honest in stating my opinion here: Edward is a pansy and the colonel is as a real man… wow that felt good to write!

    Liked by 4 people

    • thereadingrebel says:
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      I agree with you. Elinor likes Colonel Brandon as a friend. She is already in love with Edward so she never looked at Colonel Brandon that way. I agree I would have went for Brandon. He is my favorite JA hero. I love him. Edward is not a strong character. He has never been a favorite of mine. Put you have to remember that Edward was bought up by a women who didn’t care if he was happy as long as he has a good place in society and does what she wants.

      Liked by 3 people

      • spines in a line says:

        I also saw their relationship as a friendship, though I didn’t realize how much Elinor liked Edward until he came to Barton Cottage. Maybe it’s because their time at Norland was somewhat rushed through but I got the sense through Elinor’s and Brandon’s conversations that she enjoyed spending time with him much more.
        However once Edward shows up, their interactions seem much more developed so I could sense Elinor’s attraction.

        Liked by 3 people

      • Tisha says:

        Yes! We don’t know of Brandon’s past (other than the Colonel part…) But we do know of Mrs. Farris’ wishes for Edward’s life. Two very different lives.

        Liked by 1 person

      • thereadingrebel says:

        I agree with Spines in a Line. Edward and Elinor’s early romance was rushed and wish it hadn’t been.

        I agree Trisha. To very different lives. Brandon is at least independent and he is the stronger character of the two by far. But I can’t help defending Edward. Because that couldn’t have been a healthy or happy environment to grow up in. His sister is just as bad as his mother. We don’t know anything about his younger brother yet but it said his younger brother was more promising in wanting to be a great man is society. It’s in the beginning paragraph about Edward at the end it says his younger brother is more promising.

        Liked by 2 people

    • thereadingrebel says:
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      I agree that Austen means that Elinor liked Colonel Brandon as a friend. Elinor is already in love with Edward so I don’t think she ever thinks of Colonel Brandon in a romantic since. I agree I would have went for Brandon. He is my favorite Austen hero. I love him. He is one of my first and most loved Book Boyfriends. I agree that Edward is not a strong character but growing up with an overbearing mother who doesn’t care if he is happy as long as he has a great place in society and does what she wants probably made him more shy and backward then he would have been with a good mother.

      Like

    • randombct says:
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      I definitely agree! I think Colonel Brandon would be a favorite character of mine. He definitely deserves to be the “main man” here! I also felt this way when looking at Hugh Grant or Alec Rickman in the movie. Haha! Edward and Willoughby just annoy me.

      Liked by 4 people

      • thereadingrebel says:

        Willoughby has never been a favorite character of mine since the beginning when he was cruel to Colonel Brandon for no reason. Plus for what I understand he was very like Marianne and didn’t really care about anyone that didn’t agree with him and wasn’t civil to others. He is very immature for a 25 year old man. In fact I think Willoughby is one of my most hated Austen Characters but we haven’t gotten Mansfield Park yet and I have a few characters in that book I want strangle. We are reading it in June.

        Liked by 2 people

      • bookedbybliss says:

        Yeah I find Edward and Willoughby really annoying too! Willoughby for his immaturity and Edward because he seems so moody 😛 Colonel Brandon definitely stands out as a real man in comparison to these two. I haven’t watched the movie yet because I wanted to read the book first.

        Liked by 3 people

  2. Tisha says:
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    Number 11 question: I wrote down in my notebook, when Elinor was separated from Willoughby, that she needs to get another Hobby and she needs to stop overthinking everything. 😂😂 I happen to have two sisters of my own so I know that even though sisters have the same parents that doesn’t mean they are alike. The Dashwoods both completely differ in their feelings in that Marianne needs to have her family near her through the separation whereas Elinor requires only solitude.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Tisha says:
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    General: I have to say I’m having difficulty answering some of these questions because I have read this book before. I think everybody reading it for the first time will have a completely different outlook on these questions. Meaning I already know how it ends so my answers will be swayed by that. But I think my taking notes while I’m reading the book is helping some!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Elizabeth says:
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    Looking at the questions I’d begin with question 6. (My favourite and least favourite characters) my favourite character in this set of chapeters is almost a tie between Col Brandon and Mrs Jennings. I love the way Mrs Jennings is never afraid to speak her mind, she is a widow so she is able to do and say most things that other “well bred” women don’t. And Brandon is a different character completely. Reserved and charming at the same time. Whats not to like.

    Least favourite is probably Fanny however thats because of the great way she is written and I just can’t like her!

    Liked by 3 people

    • Tisha says:
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      Yes!!! I also adore both of these characters. Definitely my favorites as well.

      (Also The difference between Mrs Dashwood and Mrs. Bennet from Pride and Prejudice is outstanding… I’m so glad Jane Austen made them so different)

      Liked by 3 people

    • spines in a line says:
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      I definitely agree with you about Fanny, though I found it really funny how she was able to whittle down the “help” the Dashwoods received from their brother!

      I think my favourite so far is Elinor, probably because I feel most like her though I believe I am slightly more expressive!

      Marianne and Willoughby are kind of my least favourites right now but that’s more because of how immature they seem. I still like Marianne and I can understand her feelings because she is quite young, but Willoughby has less of an excuse for his behaviours, especially with how rude he can be! I don’t know if those of you who have read this before have different opinions of this characters, but so far in my first read-through, Willoughby is on uneasy ground for me.

      Liked by 3 people

    • thehuntforpaperbacks says:
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      Isn’t that so interesting that they are such loved characters? I also found that I admired them both for their opposite attitudes and general character. I love that you mentioned that she’s a widow and that probably has a lot to do with her loud personality! I didn’t even think of that! I’ll just be swooning over here about Colonel Brandon! 😉 It surprises me how “old” some of the women, mainly Marianne, think him to be. 35?? haha

      Liked by 4 people

      • bookedbybliss says:

        Haha yeah it’s funny that 35 is considered so old. It keeps messing up how I imagine Colonel Brandon while I read; especially at the parts where Marianne describes him as old and infirm, my mind conjures up an old man and I have no be all, “no, no brain, younger! Make him younger!”

        Liked by 2 people

  5. Elizabeth says:
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    I’m also with Tisha, I’ve read the book before and seen the movie so I do know how it ends. This does influence alot of the way I feel about these questions and it’s hard not to spoil the book for those who haven’t read it.

    Also I think I need to start taking notes 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  6. spines in a line says:
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    Number 15 is a really interesting question! I guess there are two outcomes that I think might’ve been possible – and that’s whether or not Willoughby would ever have entered her life at another point in time. Either way, I don’t think Marianne would have had the same reaction to Brandon as she did to Willoughby.

    Marianne and Brandon are quite different in their emotions and Marianne seems at that point to have already made up her mind about what kind of man Brandon was, which was someone she wasn’t particularly attracted to. I think she may have been more civil towards him (certainly more than she is now!) but whether or not she’d see it progressing to more than a friendship, I’m not so sure.

    And then there’s whether Willoughby would still be around. If they did meet later, I’m sure they’d find the same immediate connection they have had here, but if he wasn’t around at all, would Marianne be persuaded to a marriage with Brandon? I don’t think it’s something she would really prefer but if there was no other alternative, maybe?

    Again, I haven’t read the book so maybe those who have are laughing because they know how this all turns out, but as it is now I don’t see Marianne becoming as attracted to Brandon as she is with Willoughby.

    Liked by 2 people

    • thehuntforpaperbacks says:
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      I thought this question was very interesting as well! Marianne is so romantic in all her feelings (meaning she is very emotional in her actions and opinions) that I really have no idea what she might feel if it were Col. Brandon instead! Maybe, because of her romantic views, she’d love the idea of having a rescuer (the whole damsel in distress idea) and fawn over him a bit. But I think you’re right, she probably would soon realize that he isn’t “on her level” with her other passions. Hmmmm…so much to think about! 😉

      Liked by 2 people

    • thereadingrebel says:
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      Happy you liked my question 🙂

      I don’t think it would have been the same reaction as Wiloughby(as he looks just like a romantic hero) like you but I do think that Marianne would have been much nicer to him and thought it was a romantic like rescue even if he is grave and dull but that rescue would have made him look less grave and dull to her. Maybe she would have even struck up a civil friendship with him.

      I agree that Marianne and Willoughby would have been attracted to each other whenever they might have meet. They have a connection that is either the thing of great romance or great tragedy. I wonder which it will be?

      Liked by 3 people

  7. Sydney K says:
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    Okay let’s see then. I can already tell you who my least favorite is and that’s fanny and i have many naughty words that i’d say to her, much like McGonagall has for Umbridge. Now onto the questions. I’m gonna try to keep this to just the first portion bc i may have already finished the book a couple days ago.

    Elinor- sense; marianne – sensibility. Mostly bc it seems Marianna has no sense like whatso ever. I’m definitely more like Elinor as i soemtimes wonder if i was born with extra common sense than some people.

    Male Preference is probably Brandon, Edward, Sir John, Willoughby & then Henry Dashwood (he’s a pansy for letting his witch of a wife walk all over him).

    I am beginningto notice that at least for a few novels, JA prefers to name the opposing male love interest with a Wi (Willoughby/Wickham)

    I actually like Brandon/Elinor as a friendship and felt that it was refreshing to see a friendship. I also like Edward.

    Liked by 3 people

    • thereadingrebel says:
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      I too always liked Elinor and Brandon’s friendship and was happy it didn’t become a romance. Marianne is only 17 and her mother has about has a much sense as her and they are very close and she doesn’t check her at all. Elinor is the only clear head in the family. There must be so much pressure on her. She has to be the adult because her mother can’t.

      Liked by 2 people

      • brennan45 says:

        I feel like the Mother should have more sense and not just outright refuse to see if Marianne and Willoughby are actually engaged or not. I mean she had some pretty flimsy excuses for not wanting to ask. I mean this is the day and age where reputation means everything(looking at P&P here) so surely her mother would want proof instead of living in a fantasy land.
        I feel sorry for poor Elinor who seems to be the only one with sense in her family.

        Liked by 4 people

      • Chanda says:

        Elinor has it so hard. It’s not like in P&P where Elizabeth has Jane to help keep her mother and sisters in check, in S&S it is only Elinor who has a sensible head and she tries so hard to keep her whole family from acting like a bunch of idiots.

        Liked by 4 people

      • thehuntforpaperbacks says:

        Completely agree! I’m beginning to think that it’s Elinor against Marianne, her mother, AND Margaret! They all so similar with their passionate character that Elinor has to fight them all off with her sense! It certainly must be tiring for her.

        Like

  8. spines in a line says:
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    Just a general opinion as this is my first experience with Jane Austen, I’m somewhat surprised with how much humour is in it. The characters are certainly sarcastic and there have been a number of times where I’ve almost laughed out loud! That’s something I really wasn’t expecting before joining this book club

    Liked by 4 people

  9. thereadingrebel says:
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    I love how Jane Austen can make you understand whole characters personalities with just a few words or a paragraph. It is a very rare gift. I have only come across one other author with this talent. Georgette Heyer.

    I have always hated Mrs.John Dashwood aka Fanny. To show up on the doorstep of a mourning family and take their house. It is so rude and uncaring. Fanny also thinks she is so much better then everyone else. I hate people like that. I didn’t need to read Chapter 2 to know her true characer.

    Jane Austen wrote that is John Dashwood had married a better women he might have been a better person. That sentence has always struck me. From the first time I read it. Wondering if he had married a kind loving women and not Fanny.

    On this read the descriptions of Edward and Willoughby really caught my attention.

    Willoughby is said to have manly beauty and gracefulness. “Elinor and he mother had a secret admiration for his looks when they first saw him” He is outgoing and charming.

    Edward was not recommended to their good opinion by any peculiar graces of person or address. He was not handsome and you had to get to know him before you saw his worth. He is shy and backward.

    I love how Austen made both suitors so different. Edward as a character has some of the lowest self esteem of any Austen hero. People don’t like Edward because he is not what every one thinks I hero should be. Heroes are shy and backward. Heroes don’t have any self-esteem and aren’t handsome. How could some with all those qualities equal a hero. Well in a Jane Austen’s mind they do.

    Colonel Brandon is one of my favorite characters. I love how nice he is and how he seems to always think of others. He apparently sees people for their kindness(seeing has he picked Sir John for a friend). Marianne and Willoughby are so rude to him and he is nothing but kind to them. I have always wondered if Willoughby was jealous of Colonel Brandon for having more money and being independent. Willoughby only has 700 pounds a year and Colonel Brandon has 2,000 plus Willoughby is dependent on Mrs. Smith. What do you ladies think of my idea?

    When Elinor jumps so quickly to the hair in Edward’s ring being her’s(when he visits the Dashwood Cottage) it reminds me of Marianne and Mrs. Dashwood’s quick conjurers about Willoughby’s speedy exit. I would have thought Elinor would have been suspicious of the hair. But when her own feelings are involved even she can be quick to misjudge.

    Did anyone guess or think that Edward was engaged to someone else or had a secret? I didn’t.

    What do you think was in the letter Colonel Brandon got and that made him leave for town so quickly?

    John Middleton and Mrs.Jennings may not be the most well bred people in the room but no one could say they are not the kindest and most honest people in the room. They both are just themselves and they don’t apologize for it. I also like Mrs. Palmer. She is such a happy person even with her rude husband.

    Anyone think that Charlotte Jennings(Palmer)would have been a better match with Sir John then Lady Middleton? I have always thought that sense I meet both couples. I also think that Mr.Palmer and Lady Middleton would be perfect together. What do you ladies think?

    Liked by 2 people

    • spines in a line says:
      Reply

      That’s a really good point about Willoughby being jealous! It makes more sense why he would be so rude to him, when Marianne has her youth as an excuse and also her desire to share everything with Willoughby. I think your explanation fits perfectly!

      I wasn’t sure what Edward’s secret was either, though I didn’t think the hair was Elinor’s. From what we’d learned about him up to that point, it seems like it’d be very out of character for him to cut Elinor’s hair without her knowing (or even with her knowing)!

      Liked by 2 people

    • brennan45 says:
      Reply

      Never understood why Willoughby was so against Colonel Brandon but I think jealous played a huge part. I agree with Spines in a Line that Marianne agreed with what Willoughby was saying purely because of her feelings for him.
      I did not seeing tha twist with whose hair it was! I mean I found it a bit impossible that he could have cut Elinors hair without her knowing. But I can understand why she would assume it was hers, I mean she had no clue he had a secret engagement so the logical conclusion, for her, was that it was her hair.

      Liked by 2 people

      • thereadingrebel says:

        Edward said it was his sisters. It easily could have been. It just seems she was willing to jump to conclusions and do just what she tells her mother and Marianne not to do about Willoughby. Willoughby is like Marianne’s god. She is obsessed with him. She hasn’t been separated from him for long and you would think she was never going to see him again or that he was died. I can see being sad that your boyfriend left but not to the extremes Marianne takes it too.

        Like

      • brennan45 says:

        See I think because as he agreed that it was his sisters, he looked and blushed at Elinor. So she was like what it can’t be her hair it’s closer to my own shade etc etc. I think she is also a romantic at heart so possibly secretly loves the idea of Edward secretly cutting a lock of hair to fashion into a ring.
        In regards to Marianne she is just a dramatic person I mean just look at when the first leave for the cottage. She breaks down in tears calling goodbye to everything so I can see her being that dramatic about Willoughby. Not that I agree with her because come on we don’t even know why he had to leave! I get that she is seventeen but I agree she is too extreme.

        Liked by 1 person

      • thereadingrebel says:

        Great Point about the blushing look and I can see how Elinor would want it to be her’s. She is madly in love with him. However she may guard her feelings. Why do you think Willoughby left? I will not answer this question as I now the answer and don’t want to spoil anything.

        Like

      • brennan45 says:

        I have no idea why Willoughby left. After the revelation about Edward I’m like it would be a bit much to have both love interests be involved with other women? I don’t know I can’t wait to read and find out though!

        Liked by 2 people

    • bookedbybliss says:
      Reply

      It didn’t occur to me while I was reading the book, but now that you mention it, yes, it seems Lady Middleton and Charlotte are much more suited to the other’s husband than her own!

      And also I did get a feeling that Edward had some secret and I definitely thought the lock of hair was someone else’s and not Elinor’s.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. thereadingrebel says:
    Reply

    Let’s talk about The Steeles. I hate them. Well I hate Lucy and feel pity for Anne.

    Anne is a little idiot who had the misfortune to be poor and unhandsome. If she were pretty and rich or even just rich. She would be well married.

    Lucy is a pretty sneaky cruel little creature. It is so sad to see Elinor in such distress learning of Edward’s engagement from Lucy. I think it was so wrong of Edward to “make love” as they say in Austen to Elinor being engaged to someone else. What do you all think of the Steeles? and do you think that Edward was in the wrong?

    Liked by 1 person

    • brennan45 says:
      Reply

      I haven’t read S&S before so I mean correct me if I get names wrong etc.
      I think the Steeles were introduced as polar opposites of the Dashwood girls. I mean the Steele sisters lack that social refinement and education that was so important in those days. I mean the whole thing was a woman was to become accomplished(in singing, painting etc) to get a husband. The Steele sisters have no real accomplishments(as far as I can tell) so no wonder Anne remains unmarried.
      Lucy Steele. I don’t know how I feel about her. I mean at this stage I don’t think she knew about Ferrars and Elinor? So I can’t hate her for revealing her secret engagement to Edward.
      Kinda hate Edward though seen as he has been secretly engaged to her while wooing Elinor at the same time. Not to mention he shows up after spending two weeks visiting Lucy to visit Elinor for half that time. Plus he has the cheek to wear the ring of Lucy’s hair while visiting Elinor. I think Lucy is just stuck in the middle and Edward is the real one to blame here.

      Liked by 3 people

      • thereadingrebel says:

        I do. I don’t think she would have told Elinor anything if she wasn’t jealous or though Edward might to changing his feelings to Elinor. She told her to see how she would react to the news to see if she has a rival for Edward’s feelings. Why else would you tell your deepest darkest secret to someone you had just meet and could run and tell it to her brother who would tell it to his wife who would tell it to her mother who would freak out(from what has been said about her by Fanny and Edward about her wanting him to marry well and became a great member of society)and do who knows what to get the engagement broken up. She would never have spilled her guts otherwise.

        Edward was very much at fault in all of this and should never have stayed at Norland after he started feeling more then a friendship for Elinor. Happy I am not the only one who thinks so.

        Liked by 1 person

      • brennan45 says:

        That is very true! I mean if it was such a big secret that she only her sister knew why the heck did she tell Elinor? Hmmmm thank you for enlightening me! I never would of thought of Lucy trying to see if she had a rival for Edwards affections.

        Liked by 1 person

      • thereadingrebel says:

        It was the first thing I thought on my first read. Why would she tell her that? It made no sense to me then and looking at from the point of not knowing what happens still doesn’t make sense unless she was jealous of Elinor because of something that Edward said and wanted her to back off. The Steeles seemed to know I lot about the Dashwoods and they could only know that if Edward talked about them all the time when he was visiting. Clearly he talked a lot more about Elinor then Marianne and clearly Lucy knows about Willoughby from Sir John and Mrs.Jennings. I can’t imagine they would keep something that interesting to themselves. So she is not a threat to her.

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      • thereadingrebel says:

        I mean I wouldn’t have told a person my secret that could ruin everything for me with just a few words whispered in her brothers ear. It seemed too risky even to do what Lucy did to see if Elinor was upset about Edward being engaged. How does she know she wouldn’t get spiteful and tell her brother. People aren’t always the wisest when they have been hurt.

        Like

      • brennan45 says:

        See now I am thinking what if that was her plan? What if she told Elinor because she wants to either speed up the engagement or to get out of the engagement. I don’t know this is just me rambling. I haven’t read the book before so I have no clue what happens.
        As I write this I’m like wait no don’t say anything because I need to hurry up and read volume two and find out what happens!

        Liked by 3 people

  12. tracey mandavy says:
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    my least fave character of course is Fanny, l swear l would not of survived back then or have a mouth full of blood from biting my tongue so much around that woman. Poor Mr. Dashwood’s body wasn’t even cold before stamping her entitled authority about the house, then talking her husband out of helping his family.
    A the beginning l was not a fan of Elinor’s, as most older sisters they carry a lot of responsibilities over the younger siblings and since Elinor’s father passed her mother seemed to lean on Elinor more. Then when Colonel Brandon and Willoughby started to pay Marianne attention she become this jealous because she was shown no attention since Edward. However, by the end of part I l felt sorry her as the Edward had courted and wooed (love this word it is not used enough anymore) her in Norland only to discover he was betrothed to another and have it thrown in her face very publicly.
    As for Favourite character is will probably change all the time.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. justalittlethought91 says:
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    I’m so sorry and gutted that I missed the discussion yesterday! Work and life has been a little messy and I’m desperately trying to get to chapter 22! I have an evening dedicated to reading tonight so I’ll be catching up on all the comments and questions for myself 🙈🙈 xx

    Liked by 2 people

  14. brennan45 says:
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    Okay so bare with me me guys and let’s see if I can properly articulate how I’m feeling.
    When I first started reading S&S I think I identified more with Marianne mainly because when she said “I could not be happy with a man whose taste did not in every point coincide with my own. He must enter in all my feelings; the same books, the same music must charm us both.”
    That being said when I actually thought about it, I thought it would be very boring to have someone just agree with you on everything all the time. But at first I just thought how good would it be to find someone who loved books as much as I do?
    Anyway after reading the volume I feel like I identify with Elinor, the sensible one. She is full of feelings but has to quiet and less vocal about them as her sister is. She is heartbroken when she find out about Edwards engagement but she swallows down her feelings because she is the epitome of sense. She shows reason, restraint, social responsibility and a concern for the welfare of others.
    So this is my first time reading S&S and I see everybody raving about Colonel Brandon but so far I haven’t seen anything that makes me fall in love with him. I mean he is just obsessed with Marianne who is too childish and dramatic for my liking 🙈 Marianne is very like my Aunt who is very, very over dramatic but at least Marianne has the excuse that she is only 16/17?
    Austen is such a witty writer, I love her little jabs at certain characters. For example, when she is describing John Dashwood as “not an ill-disposed young man, unless to be rather cold-hearted and rather selfish is to be ill-disposed…”. I just love her subtlety criticising the characters the characters she doesn’t like: “Mrs. John Dashwood was a strong caricature of himself; more narrow-minded and selfish.”
    Sorry for the long post and I know it doesn’t really address the questions but so far those are my initial thoughts without making this into a super long essay 🙈🙈

    Liked by 2 people

    • Chanda says:
      Reply

      Marianne’s line about love stuck out for me too, but I immediately thought of just how awful that would be. I would hate to have someone who would have the exact same opinions as me, there would be nothing to discuss. I find that I really don’t identify with anyone in the book… If I had to chose I would probably pick Mrs Jennings because she is at least entertaining and blunt about everything hahaha.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Sydney K says:

        I completely agree. To have completely same tastes, it would get boring. I want someone who shares common interests like reading in general but can challenge me to learn more.

        i love Mrs. Jennings, she’s a hoot and a half.

        Liked by 2 people

    • thereadingrebel says:
      Reply

      I agree totally. To have a boyfriend/husband you agree with all the time would be boring and not challenge you as a person in any way. I think I would go crazy because I love a good discussion with someone on the opposite side of the topic.

      Did you see my post? Your post is like half of mine. So don’t feel bad that it is longer then some others.

      Liked by 2 people

      • brennan45 says:

        I think I just want someone who understands my obsession with books but otherwise I would go mad with the boredom of someone agreeing with everything. I agree with you guys someone who challenges me would be way better!
        @thereadingrebel I seen it after I posted mine. I usually go way overboard analysing books etc and it drives my friends mad. But after seeing your post it made me happy to know I am not the only one who will be doing long posts ☺️

        Liked by 2 people

      • thereadingrebel says:

        Brennan I also want someone who understands my obsession with books and is an animal lover(I have 2 cats-Sophie and Little Kitty) I also always go overboard discussing books. I think I few people I did buddy reads with were a bit shocked about how deep I got into it the discussion.

        Liked by 2 people

      • brennan45 says:

        No I am happy that I am not the only one! I feel ya about the animal lover! I have three dogs! One was actually mine(well my family’s) but when my nan passed away I adopted her two dogs. So for the past year I have had three dogs but in separate houses 😅😅 Its complicated🙈

        Liked by 1 person

      • thereadingrebel says:

        Sorry for your loss. *hugs*

        One of the cat’s is really my grandmas(she lives with my family and me)but I count it as mine because I take care of him(Little Kitty)and he really likes me. When is life not complicated? I have come to always answer NEVER.

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    • thehuntforpaperbacks says:
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      Don’t apologize! 🙂 I love your thoughts! I think most of us want to be like Marianne in her passions and love for seemingly small things in life. But the reality is that we are more like Elinor oftentimes or Fanny (from MP, not Fanny Dashwood, heck no!). Which is totally fine and I know there are people more like Marianne that want to be a little Elinor-ish. There are so many thoughts on these characters, I hope there are books and books on Austen’s characters. hehe

      Liked by 1 person

  15. thereadingrebel says:
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    I can’t believe that Willoughby wanted to give Marianne a horse?! Back then from what I remember taking almost anything from a suitor was not proper at all. When Elinor even said that Mrs. Dashwood would let her take it I was so shocked. That would have looked very bad even if they do get married. I know someone(I am sorry I can’t find the post of who said it) thought it was ridiculous for Mrs. Dashwood to not ask Marianne about being engaged. I think that also. She is only 17. It’s not like she is in her 20s.

    Liked by 1 person

    • thehuntforpaperbacks says:
      Reply

      YES YES YES!! I had the same thoughts as I read. I totally wrote a bunch of notes about this at the end of the chapter about this. That’s why I included question 9 because there are definitely certain boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed because of the impropriety of the situation. Thank you for saying that, I thought it was odd no one had brought that up yet! haha. Ridiculous to give someone in Marianne’s current situation a horse and to even think of accepting that would NOT be proper in any circumstance. I hope that all made sense. I just threw up my thoughts here. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  16. thereadingrebel says:
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    On a side note I have always been disappointed that the manuscript of Elinor and Marianne was destroyed. It would have been amazing to read and compare the two novels. I have always been sadden by how few novels Jane got to write and The Brontes also. When you see the count of Dickens and Trollopes you feel so downcast. At least I do.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Renée Ann Torres says:
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    Not sure if anyone else has mentioned this but, as a history nerd I now have the compulsion to read secondary material on the use of “love locks” as signs of affection and courtship. So interesting how culture changes. Nowadays if you gave a guy a clipping of your hair you’d be viewed as odd and potentially unstable (at least in the US)!

    Liked by 1 person

    • brennan45 says:
      Reply

      I did a history module about objects and we had a class on jewellery. They used to use locks of hair in mourning pieces of jewellery as well. I always thought it was strange but I suppose culture changes as time progresses. Even nowadays what was the thing to do when I was growing up my younger sisters think is really strange.

      I think instead of giving our prospective/new beau pieces of our hair we exchange other gifts. I know when my granny and grandad met, they fell in love but my granny had to go back to Liverpool(they had met in Ireland). My granny gave my grandad a picture of the two of them together. I know in Austens time you could get a mini portrait painted in a locket but I think a modern day thing would be something like that.

      Or a modern day lock of hair could be a ring or necklace that had sentimental value to the person?
      I want to look into the culture behind that now.🙈

      Liked by 2 people

      • thehuntforpaperbacks says:

        Thank you so much for sharing this, I was interested in learning more about this! I guess that would make sense that it was also a mourning piece (with the hair) as well. Good thoughts about other gifts. I mean, we exchange rings, flowers, and other little gifts that are similar to back then but I’m having a hard time coming up with other ones that are different now than back then. haha Thanks again! ❤

        Like

  19. always.halloweenish says:
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    Kicking myself for not taking notes.
    I’m halfway through volume 2.
    In short i think Dashwoods are bit judgey but I understand that’s how it was back that time.
    I don’t have a favourite character yet, I’m enjoying all the interactions.

    It’s my first time reading Jane Austen, only seen the movies. I’m really looking foward to more.

    Liked by 2 people

    • brennan45 says:
      Reply

      I only started to take notes for volume two because when it came to the discussion I found myself frantically rereading pages because I forgot some of the points I had thought of etc. I would recommend taking notes because it is a lot easier for yourself then when it comes to the discussions.

      Like

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